In Sickness and in Health: A Hidden Vow of Friendship

Hey everyone,

Believe it or not, I have deleted and rewritten for this post several times. I can't seem to quite decide what I truly want to come out with. Instead I realised I need to write from my heart, as it's the only way I can explain what friendship means to me.

In the past few years especially since I developed M.E., I have come across some amazing people. It astounds me the goodness of human nature in so many people and I feel blessed that many of these beautiful people I have come across, have become my friends. It also shows me that the internet can be used for good so that in the event of chronic illness and being stuck at home, it doesn't make you isolated from people. Things like Skype, Facebook and MSN/Live Messenger have been a Godsend and have saved my sanity. I also would like to think that I have also repayed the favour back for people and hope that I have been patient and listened to people and given good words of advice.

Having a chronic illness is extremely difficult but from the emails, comments and Facebook messages that I received back following one of my previous posts asking for opinions, it is clear to me that people have said that without the internet they wouldn't have been able to come across other people who truly understand what it is like to live with a chronic condition (in this case, especially M.E.).

I have lost old friends. Basically every single one I knew before I was ill, except for a handful who have stood by me all the way.  In some way, I don't blame people for walking away but in another way, I feel hurt that just because of something which happened that wasn't my fault, they couldn't "handle it" and instead of being a friend, they decided to take the easy route and walk away. I don't know if it was because of boredom that they knew I would probably keep turning down invitations or not be able to stay out long. Instead of being the life and soul of the party, I became the "party-pooper".
However, for every so-called friend I lost, I seemed to have gained 2 more. I have found that the meaning of friendship has changed. I feel that the bonds I have made are much stronger and filled with patience and understanding of each other and what we go through. The friends I have made range from America to Australia. I am astounded that people who have never met me face-to-face, take the time even just a moment to say hello. I was even more astounded that at Christmas, I received so many beautiful gifts. I was even more surprised that on my birthday at the beginning of the month, I received countless cards, gifts and one gifts that meant so much was a scrap book with loads of of beautiful messages from people who know me through my blog, AYME and Facebook. What surprised me more was that the people who had left me a message, I had at some point spoken to them. Whether it was them sending me hugs when I have been low, or spoken to me on Skype or for countless hours been messaging me on Facebook or Live Messenger.

I am truly blessed and grateful for every single person in my life who has been there. You will never know just how much it has meant. Without you guys, I can almost guarantee that I would still not be alive today. Most of you who will read this know how difficult it is to go through a chronic illness and even worse, be housebound/bed bound shut away from the outside world. However, the simple thoughts, messages and letters are what have kept me going regardless of what I am going through.

For that I am truly grateful and in return I would like to promise that through sickness and in health, I will support every person who has supported me in my darkest days.

All my love